


The Intervention

by HazelBeka



Series: 101 Uses for a Barrier Seal [5]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Crack, Established Relationship, M/M, seals master Iruka, with great barrier seals comes great responsibility
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:29:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22526332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HazelBeka/pseuds/HazelBeka
Summary: Kakashi knelt down in front of Iruka and took his hands. “Iruka, I don’t know how to tell you this, but…I think you’re addicted to barrier seals.”Or, the one where Kakashi helps his seals master boyfriend to accept that he has a problem
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Series: 101 Uses for a Barrier Seal [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/373676
Comments: 97
Kudos: 965





	The Intervention

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Зависимость](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28548606) by [Tamiraina](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tamiraina/pseuds/Tamiraina)



Kakashi stood in the middle of Iruka’s living room with his hands on his hips, grimly surveying the scene before him. He’d been working up to this conversation for a while now, but he couldn’t put it off any longer.

“That’s it,” Kakashi said. “This is an intervention.”

Iruka looked up from where he was sitting lengthways on the couch and grading papers.

“An intervention?”

“Exactly,” Kakashi said. “This has gone too far, Iruka. You need to admit you have a problem.”

Iruka looked around blankly, as though he didn’t have a clue what Kakashi could be talking about. It was Friday evening, and Kakashi had met Iruka at the Academy after work and come home with him.

“A problem with what?” he asked.

Kakashi pointed to the coffee table.

“What’s that?”

“The tests I’ve finished marking?”

“But what’s on top of them?”

“A barrier seal?” Iruka asked. “There’s a breeze coming through the window and I didn’t want them to blow off the table.”

Kakashi pointed to something else on the table.

“And what’s that?”

“A piece of cake,” Iruka said, slowly now, as though he was starting to doubt Kakashi’s mental faculties. “We baked it yesterday, remember? And it didn’t turn out half bad, but the slice you cut was far too big. I’m saving the rest for later.”

“But what’s _over_ the cake?”

“A barrier, obviously,” Iruka said. “So it doesn’t go stale. Kakashi, what is the point of this?”

Kakashi walked across the room, pointing things out as he went.

“Oh look, here’s another barrier,” he said. “Covering the latest book in the Icha Icha series.”

“Well if you’d stopped reading it in front of Naruto then I wouldn’t have had to confiscate it.”

“And here’s a barrier you’ve turned upside down and filled with snacks like a party bowl.” Kakashi paused. “I didn’t know that was actually possible.”

Iruka beamed proudly. “It took me _weeks_ of research to figure out how, but isn’t it handy?”

“You own bowls,” Kakashi said. “Actual bowls. You didn’t need to do this.” He knelt down in front of Iruka and took his hands. “Iruka, I don’t know how to tell you this, but…I think you’re addicted to barrier seals.”

There was a moment of silence.

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” Iruka said. “And I’ve been dating you for a while now, so that’s really saying something.”

“I know this is difficult to take in,” Kakashi said gently, “but it’s time you got some help.”

Iruka rolled his eyes and pried his hands away from Kakashi’s, turning back to the test in his lap.

“I’m just using my shinobi skills to make my life easier. What’s the problem with that?”

Kakashi was prepared for this reaction. He’d done some research before confronting Iruka, and he knew the most important thing was to make Iruka accept his addiction before they moved on to getting him help.

“You’re becoming dependent on barriers,” he said. “You’re forgetting how to use ordinary objects.”

“Like bowls,” Iruka said.

“Yes, exactly, like bowls,” Kakashi said encouragingly. “Or like shoes.”

Iruka paused and looked up from his paper.

“That was one time,” he said. “I was only taking the bins out, I wasn’t going far.”

“Or umbrellas.”

“I hate carrying wet umbrellas around.”

“Or quarantine zones for when your boyfriend gets sick and you decide to imprison him in your bed for three days.”

“Oh, is that was this is about?” Iruka asked. “You were fine. I let you out to go to the bathroom, and I brought you food and tissues. _Lots_ of tissues. Honestly it was pretty gross, I didn’t want to catch it.”

“ _Three whole days_.”

Iruka waved aside his words with an exasperated sigh.

“You were comfortable. You made a blanket nest in there. It was cute.”

“The blanket nest was a survival technique to get me through the gruelling psychological experience of being held captive by my own boyfriend.”

Iruka raised an eyebrow.

“Fine, next time you’re sick I won’t take care of you.”

Kakashi paused.

“You can still make me soup and read to me. That was nice.”

“Not unless there’s a barrier between me and your germs. It’s only sanitary.”

Kakashi threw up his arms.

“This is what I mean! You think barrier seals are the answer to everything! You don’t know how to solve your problems any other way anymore.”

“That’s nonsense,” Iruka said. “Not every problem can be solved with a barrier seal. Some can only be solved with exploding tags.”

Kakashi started to ask and then reconsidered. He didn’t want to know.

“All right, fine,” he said. “Tell me all of the ways you’ve used barriers today and we’ll see if any of them were an appropriate use of chakra.”

Iruka sat up straighter, thinking about it.

“Let’s see,” he said. “I used one as a tea cosy this morning, and then another to make sure nobody stole my milk from the fridge in the staff room at school, and then of course I –” He froze in the middle of his sentence.

“You what?”

Iruka closed his eyes and then swore and threw the papers aside.

“I have to go back to the school,” he said, scrambling up and hurrying out of the room.

Kakashi followed him.

“Why, what’s going on?”

“I remembered something,” Iruka said grimly. He stepped into a pair of shoes and grabbed his keys.

“I’m coming too.”

“No, no, don’t do that,” Iruka said, eyes wide and panicked. “It’s nothing, really, I won’t be long.”

But there was no way Kakashi was going to stay behind. He was intrigued.

“I’ll come with you,” he said again, firmer this time.

Iruka didn’t look happy, but he didn’t protest as Kakashi followed him out of the door. He hurried down the stairs of the apartment building and out into the street, not quite running but setting a brisk pace.

“So what exactly are we going to find at the school?” Kakashi asked conversationally.

Iruka didn’t answer.

“You left something important under a barrier, huh?”

Iruka muttered something incoherent.

“What was that?”

“A child,” Iruka mumbled.

Kakashi almost tripped.

“You left a _child_ under a _barrier_?”

“He was being really annoying!” Iruka said desperately. “I designed these new soundproof barriers, they’re perfect for classroom discipline.”

“ _You used a barrier on a child?_ ”

“It isn’t just me! I handed them out to all the other teachers too!”

“It’s worse than I thought,” Kakashi said. “You’re not just an addict, you’re a dealer.”

“I got a pay rise!”

Teachers, Kakashi thought sadly. They were overworked and underpaid, no wonder they were turning to seals.

The sun was setting by the time they reached the Academy and the building was locked up for the night. Iruka did something to the wards that made the door pop open and as soon as he was inside he broke into a run. Kakashi followed him.

The school was silent and almost eerie when there was nobody in it, and Kakashi felt suddenly glad that his own kidnapping experience had taken place in a comfy bed. They reached Iruka’s classroom, and Iruka hesitated at the door before taking a long breath and then stepping inside.

There was a small boy, about eight or nine years old, sitting slumped at his desk at the back of the class. He raised his head when he heard the door open, and then he leapt to his feet and shouted something, although the noise didn’t penetrate the barrier at all.

“That’s actually very impressive,” Kakashi said, thinking of his genin team. “I can see how they’d be tempting if you had a pile of them sitting in your desk.”

“Enough for every child,” Iruka said darkly. “It pays to be thorough.”

He went over to his desk and opened a drawer, then deactivated the seal that he’d shut inside it. The barrier vanished and the boy’s voice came back mid-sentence.

“– going to tell Naruto and he’ll be so disappointed in you, Iruka-sensei.”

Iruka spluttered.

“You’ll do no such thing!” He stalked over to where the boy was standing with arms crossed furiously over his chest.

“My grandad’s the hokage,” the boy started imperiously, which made Kakashi’s eyebrows shoot up, but Iruka bent down and grabbed the boy firmly by the shoulders.

“You aren’t going to tell Sandaime-sama about this,” he said. “Or your parents, and certainly not Naruto. This was all just a big misunderstanding. A very long detention.”

“You forgot about me,” the boy said, pouting.

“I did not,” Iruka lied. “I just…got a little distracted.”

The boy wasn’t having any of it.

“You’re going to get in so much trouble,” he said.

Iruka’s expression darkened.

“If you tell anyone, I’ll fail you on yesterday’s test,” he said.

The boy’s mouth fell open at this injustice.

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“Try me.”

For a moment, the two glared at each other. Kakashi observed with interest as Iruka engaged in a battle of wills with an eight-year-old child. Teachers were fascinating.

The boy blinked first and then scowled and looked away. Iruka straightened, looking smug.

“Fine,” the boy said. “I’ll stay quiet and you give me an A on that test.”

“Deal,” Iruka said without missing a beat. “Now get out of here.”

As the boy dashed off, Kakashi wasn’t sure exactly who had won.

“That goes for you too,” Iruka said, turning to him with a deadly serious expression. “Don’t you dare breathe a word of this to anyone.”

Kakashi hadn’t intended to, but he was never one to miss an opportunity.

“What’ll you offer me to keep me quiet?”

“Sexual favours.”

“Iruka,” Kakashi said, shocked. “You shouldn’t offer your body to people like that!”

“We’re already sleeping together,” Iruka said. “We were probably going to have sex tonight anyway.”

“Still. It’s the principle of the thing.”

Iruka came back over to the front of the classroom and rolled his eyes.

“Fine, I won’t sleep with you then. Happy?”

“Wait, no, let’s do the first option. The one with the ethical bankruptcy and the sexual favours.”

Iruka snorted.

“Come on, let’s go home.”

They headed back out of the school and Iruka set the wards again behind them.

“So,” Iruka said slowly as they walked back towards his flat, “I’m starting to consider that maybe I do have a little bit of an overreliance on barrier seals.”

Kakashi patted him on the arm.

“The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem.”

“What should I do about it?”

“Well, for starters you can give me one of those child-restraining seals. Purely so that you can’t misuse it, of course.”

Iruka glanced sidelong at him with a wry smile.

“They’re good, aren’t they? I can’t believe nobody thought of it before.”

“I’ll take three,” Kakashi said.

**Author's Note:**

> I think this fic was my way of coming to terms with my own addiction to barrier seals. Seals master Iruka is just *clenches fist* so good


End file.
